22 Aug 2017 10:35:16
Hi All, long time reader, first time poster;
Just wondering if the community can come together and help me with something personal;
My girlfriend said she is leaving me because I'm obsessed with Fantasy Football . In my defence, I've got Alonso, Kolasinac, Azpilicueta and Ake.
Have a good day - YNWA!
22 Aug 2017 11:05:48
Sorry to hear that, how many seasons were you together.
22 Aug 2017 11:52:05
You need to improve, in all departments.
22 Aug 2017 11:55:31
I reckon she's been tapped up.
22 Aug 2017 12:02:45
Make her a separate account, she will quickly realize the obsession 😂.
22 Aug 2017 12:16:13
It came from nowhere, I was quickly eating my BAINES on toast in the evening listening to some 'Guns and MOSES' as I knew I knew we had to go to her parents’ house for a family party. I shouted AYEW ready yet FER FUCHS-AKE? Hurry up and BORUSSIA teeth! To which she marched DOWNING the stairs looking like something from CESC in the city and I thought to myself wow, BOOM XHAKAlaka she is looking like a WILLIAN dollars!
We got in the old VOKES Wagan and followed the JELAVIC road, knowing we had a LONG drive ahead, so I put it in KROOS control for the next hour. We eventually arrived at her parents’ house and her sister opens the door looking like HUTTON dressed as LAHM, she looked as if she PIQUEd something up from the SALAHvation Army that afternoon. It had been a while since I had seen her, she was recently let out on BALE and thought, wow, who ate all DEPAYs, she certainly needed to lay off the tea and BUSQUETS and XAVI dodgers and especially leave out the fast food, no more egg fired REUS or BENTEKE fried chicken – this girl really needed a DELPH and safety assessment but didn’t have a KALOU of the damage she had DUNN to herself!
Next, we had a chat with her two younger brothers who reminded me of PIQUE and DE BRUYNE cartoon, they are just those kind of people that always think they are ARDA than you, but really, they just can’t handle the HUTH. No WIEMANN no cry came on followed by purple REINA so I scooted over to ZIDANESfloor and got my VARDY on with my moves like AGGER shouting “boom shake shake DE ROON and show me the MANEâ€
It got MESSI and i was now a little DUNK and had too many RODALLEGA bombs and jack DANIELS, so rather than make EMILE of it, it was BEST to leave. I got outside and shouted “dude where's my KAHN†but it was best I didn’t drive!
The girlfriend was still looking absolutely FABREGAS and IBE got a feeling, that tonight my little tinchy SNEIJDER was going to see some action…. Time for some Netflix and CHILWELL. We didn’t beat around DEBUCHY, we arrived home and put on some LALLANA del ray, and just as my GYLFI pleasures were to be answered like something from 50 shades of O’SHEA, she touched MATIP and then…… I heard the Match of the day theme tune, I ran into the lounge and jumped on the CROUCH!
She shouted “I’m Leavingâ€
I responded “On Loan or Transfer? †– Which didn’t help!
I can't see where I went wrong but hey, What’s love GOTZE do?
22 Aug 2017 12:19:11
worst comes to worst, you've always got your wildcard mate.
22 Aug 2017 12:22:14
You love footy more than a chick? Good lad. i'd stick Mane and in your squad though.
22 Aug 2017 12:33:52
Thanks for the tips 87red and Red Reaper.
22 Aug 2017 12:48:26
My partner is the same mate. She told me i need to be more decisive the same week that i made Harry Maguire my triple captain. I mean come on!
22 Aug 2017 13:07:30
I feel your pain MK Scouser! However, maybe its time you stand up, look her in the face, show her how many points you achieved and say "You Petr Cech Yourself" - As, you are no Slumdog Mignolet you are the Big Lewandowski!
22 Aug 2017 13:13:53
Darren that post deserves 199Million thumbs up and publishing xD
let’s hope she doesn't FUCHS off to old Trafford though. After MOTD was finished you should have ran after her. Show her you are HAMANN and MARTIAL her back home. Specially don’t let her near De Gea as she might become FRIENDs with him and talk CHAMACK about you!
Alternatively she could go towards Chelsea and there will be a lot MORATA trying to COURTIOS her and you might LUIZ her for good!
But it KANTE be all doom and gloom because most of them are very, very ORIGI.
When you get her back make sure you have a KANE handy and give her a FIRMino slap on the HAND and assert your dominance as MANE man.
22 Aug 2017 13:18:20
Brilliant Pike. 😂.
22 Aug 2017 13:29:30
Bravo Pikey!
22 Aug 2017 13:36:39
haha Thanks WelshRed84, I think Red_Phil has just written the conclusion to my story, I'm all out! (fair play)
I must go and get some actual work done now!
GoodCABAYE All! ;)
23 Aug 2017 06:38:54
😂 yours inspired me too much I couldn't help myself haha.