27 Aug 2026 12:23:20
Metal Mickey is correct that some classification of ITKs is required.
Unfortunately, due to increased meat-based work demands at Angelica, I am unable to personally participate in ranking individuals at this time. Chef Jean-Bjorn says that I am "not to leave the cold room during an active thaw" after last Tuesday's veal incident.
However, to ease public concern I have been authorised to furnish the site with a provisional ITK classification system, under the direction of Chef JB.
1) Plongeur – Dishwasher. No access to ingredients or equipment. Treats communal steam as proprietary.
2) Commis de Twitte – Entry level, public feed, prep cook. Chops Romano, reheats Plateau and plates Plettenberg. No access to the animal. Valuable for noise monitoring. Most dangerous between 10pm and 4am.
3) Chef De Partie – Knows one station well. May know one club, agent or player. Useful within limits, but unsafe on wider menu planning.
4) Poissonnier – Handles slippery items, primarily from France & Portugal. Must be kept cold.
5) Saucier – Refines after the event. Under their watch, "contact" becomes "talks", "talks" become "advanced" before finally transitioning to "done". Highly aromatic, frequently over-trusted.
6) Sous Chef – Understands timing, heat & silence. Does not write "exclusive", because those on the pass already know where the plate is going.
7) Chef de Cuisine – Does not post after 10pm as competent people delegate. Has no need to say "exclusive" because the word belongs to men still touching the food. Knows the supplier, the cost, the station, the table and which junior will later pretend he tasted it first. May sign off. Some signatures close dockets. Others are drawn in condensation near the sink.
Chef Jean-Bjorn sits outside the system. He does not provide updates. He corrects cuisson, inspects labels, and removes men from the pass when their confidence exceeds their station.
Hope this helps.
27 Aug 2026 13:21:02
Magnifique, Fornax, tres bien! This site is so lucky to have one so wise as you.
27 Aug 2026 13:25:32
The Fornax Scale has spoken.
27 Aug 2026 13:27:20
Fornax, you are a legend. Laughed my oversized socks off. ?
This will deffo help the gullible posters on here.
27 Aug 2026 13:44:48
And what of Baldrick's rat au van and the frankenfood?