02 Oct 2025 09:15:12
Slot has to go - absolute fraud, pure luck last season. He’s blown it already. One loss and that’s it league gone, title dusted, future finished. At this rate we’ll be scrapping with Utd and praying for mid table. I’d rather have Arteta and that’s saying something - the man’s only got one FA Cup and a BOGOF voucher from Aldi, but at least he kicks every ball on the touchline. Slot? He looks like he’s stood in a Greggs queue waiting for a sausage, bean and cheese melt.
Last year I rubbed my head against his, saw the future, league champions. This year I did it again - Specsavers bill. Nothing else. If he’s not delusional, then I am.
Players? Rip the squad up. Overhaul, big red marker pen, get them gone. Wirtz? Fraud. Macca? Sunday League. Robbo? Finished - I’ve seen faster postmen. Kerkez? I thought he was a Fortnite skin with an emote. Frimpong? Sounds like a children’s TV character. Van Dijk? Football pensioner - 74 years old in defender years, flog him for a packet of crisps and a Freddo. Konate? Honestly, might as well keep him in bubble wrap and loan him out to IKEA’s fragile goods section. And Alisson. don’t make me laugh. “Best keeper in the world”? Give over. I’ve seen more reliable hands on a shopping trolley with a dodgy wheel.
And Salah? Don’t even get me started. Fella’s obsessed with chicken shawarmas. Needs managing better. Score two goals a game, Mo, and you get your shawarma. Imagine the output then? Golden Boot every year, easy.
Owners? Embarrassing. Where’s the ambition? Where’s the fire? John Henry walks past you, you think he’s about to flog you life insurance and a dodgy boiler cover plan. Elon Musk was linked once - why didn’t we sell? Imagine Anfield under Musk: SpaceX launch pads, Starlink drones serving pints to everyone, Tesla batteries running the floodlights. Mbappe and Haaland up front, prime Pele AI hologram in midfield. But no - we get Wirtz.
At this point, I’d even take Big Sam for the comedy value. He’d stick Alisson up top for corners, lump it long, and we’d all go home with our money’s worth.
Anyway, thought I’d join the general consensus on here and go full on doom and gloom merchant. But let’s be honest: do all of the above and we’re sorted long term. Easy as that. ;)
Back to reality - we’re winning the league. Simple as that. Everyone’s panicking over a couple of losses, why? The reason it feels so bad is because we’re not used to it - all we usually do is win. That’s how high the standard is.
Support the team. We’ve got, arguably, one of the best squads in Europe. Once they click, it’ll show. So stop flapping, stop writing everyone off after one bad result and start believing.
The title’s ours.
02 Oct 2025 10:30:50
We actually won the League last season when some people were flapping and writing off our sporting director.
I'm a sausage, I know, Salah ?.
02 Oct 2025 10:47:20
Cocaine is one helluva drug.
02 Oct 2025 11:13:46
Touche.
02 Oct 2025 12:10:24
Salah still laughing well in mate that will have the moaners sitting up straight at the breakfast table and rice crispies all down their noddy jim jams keep it up Salah pure gold YNWA.
02 Oct 2025 12:36:34
Superb post Salah! Now get those goals in before you bugger off to the AFCON and then have to start your month of fasting not soon after.
02 Oct 2025 14:13:05
Salah, have you ever been tested for Split Personality? Cos man, that was awesome as it looked so real.