30 Jul 2025 15:48:05
BREAKING from the Tokyo summit between Richard Hughes, Michael Edwards, and John W Henry.
Meeting took place in a private room above an IKEA showroom in Shinjuku. The FRAKTA bags had been cleared, but the scent of flatpack remained.
Edwards arrived first - visibly dehydrated, wearing mirrored sports goggles and carrying a velvet pouch marked "Elliott (unopened) ".
Henry entered ten minutes later, dressed in full geisha attire. He brought his own chair. The chair was set precisely 75° off-centre from the main table. He rotated it once clockwise before sitting. No one commented.
A RELATERA whiteboard stood, attached to a desk, behind them; unchanged since the Macau meetings. The word FORWARDS! remained, now faded, but untouched.
Henry said nothing throughout.
Then, without warning, he stood, turned to the board, and whispered:
"フォワードをくれ！フォワード以外いらん！"
Edwards translated calmly:
"Bring me the blade-men. I reject all other forms. "
Hughes made no reply, but adjusted the position of the single white orchid on the desk. It now faced north.
At the conclusion of the meeting, a KNAGGLIG crate was brought in, containing only a folded note and a receipt for a HAVSTA console. No one opened it.
No names confirmed, but my understanding is that Isak remains inevitable.
30 Jul 2025 16:01:15
You do know that this is a rumour site and not a fan fiction site don't you?
The frequency with which you are posting this nonsense is basically just spamming the site.
30 Jul 2025 16:11:30
Couldnt agree more can we cut this rubbish .
30 Jul 2025 16:16:22
I am with you Shipley. I am surprised it was posted again after the first one especially so soon.
30 Jul 2025 16:19:15
There's posting rumours then there's making up absolute rubbish.
30 Jul 2025 16:20:52
Never knew a furnace could be so pointless.
30 Jul 2025 16:28:37
Lay off him Shipley. It amuses me and surely I can't be alone.
30 Jul 2025 16:38:58
Yeah, these posts are getting a bit tiresome to be honest. If you hit the drop down titled links to our talk sites, I'm sure you'll find a site more suited. I was going to say comedy, but let's not kid ourselves!
30 Jul 2025 16:50:54
I really don’t know what’s going on. Not a clue. Well weird.
30 Jul 2025 17:05:01
Not everyone enjoys assembling flatpack furniture.
Some prefer it delivered fully built, instructions already recycled, bolts tightened by another’s hand.
This thread is for those comfortable when the box arrives unmarked, and instructions are incomplete.
Your confusion is understandable.
Assembly was always required.
30 Jul 2025 17:06:37
I just skip over this junk now soon as I see a post like this. No longer funny or makes any sense.
30 Jul 2025 17:07:19
Love it Fornax, keep them coming mate ?.
30 Jul 2025 17:29:30
I don't find it funny Fornax but it also doesn't bother me, so you keep doing you mate ?.
30 Jul 2025 17:37:16
Absolutely wicked response to the criticism Fornax!
Well played you IKEA loving minx you.
30 Jul 2025 17:49:39
There goes the troll again this time no sardines just a kung foo kick ?.
30 Jul 2025 18:20:59
Oooh you’re hard!
Post a picture of a tea towel and a caption that says “ENGERLUND wimmins football flag” and they’ll lap it up. That’s their level. End-of-the-pier stuff.
Wokeness get confused with “not being a aunt”.
30 Jul 2025 18:36:55
Love it. Keep them comming.
30 Jul 2025 19:05:24
Uneducated people not recognizing posts in the humoristic tradition of Sparky the Dog. Sad.
30 Jul 2025 19:22:31
We all love humour but this is as funny as anthrax. AI written garbage with a few Ikea puns, hardly Comedy Central.
30 Jul 2025 19:23:35
Fornex it’s boring - please stop the nonsense.
30 Jul 2025 19:38:02
Thinks he's funny but absolutely isn't.
30 Jul 2025 20:24:51
Nomidfielders, it's not funny, it's irony. What are you? American?